Dads and other great things...
Hola amigos!
I am officially back in business/Canada/Ontario/Toronto/Joeys- haha! (For those who don't know, Joeys is a Canadian restaurant). Yes, I do like the Eaton location.
I know it is not Wednesday, and I don't have a video for you, but I have something more special to celebrate - MY DAD! It's his birthday today, December 1st, and I already bought him a few souvenirs from my trip to California, but the bigger present is in the making, as you are reading.
.JPG "My dad and mom when I was an embryo...")
If you are a woman, dads can be overprotective, intuitive and sometimes creepy when it comes to prospect (what is considered a good match vs. 'trash' for thy child). This is a given truth, it will never change and the ultimate purpose of it is YOUR happiness, regardless of whether you are a boy or a girl. Figuratively speaking (of course), your dad is this shield ready to take on all sorts of swords, sparrows, bludgeons, and shelter you form the 3 headed dragon spitting fire at you. While this may sound like a caucasian tail, I understand if you disagree with the above description; dads can also scar you for life and leave you wanting to have nothing to do with men - EVER. If that is the case for you, I hope I didn't offend you, and I hope you will close this page after reading the rest of the post because it may give the answers to all your WHY questions.
If you are a guy, you look up to your dad to find the man you wish to be - or not! It shapes your entire being, from the way that you dress, to the way that you talk, to the way that you approach potential partners. Then you decide: do I copycat or do I stray ? If you wish to stray, you should also consider the following: dads are humans and they will make mistakes... towards you, your siblings, your friends, your lover, your mom. If he has mistreated you, get one thing straight: it's not YOU! He just doesn't know any other way to be a dad. Forgive his lack of knowledge, or quirks, and find your peace for you deserve to live in peace and balance.
Naaaaaaaaaw (read as 'now'), leaving aside the fact that my dad can really push my buttons from time to time, here is what I have learned from him (and hope that you can learn as well, regardless of you presently being a parent, or a child). You better be ready, cuz' you are going to laugh your pants off and in the same time learn a lot.
When people meet me, there are 2 opposite reactions that I get, consecutively (they think one and then the other) or separately (one of them): I look very young AND I am very mature for my actual age. The looking young I get: I stay active, don't smoke, drink in moderation and eat great food. The other one (mature), though, is me being sculpted by my dad. Here is how it all went down.
Between the ages of 6 to 16 my dad had a huge impact on the way I thought about my actions, others' behaviour and the world. Given that I was a pretty active kid who liked to dance at parties, organize Barbie doll parties with my friends, jump for hours in skipping rope competitions and annoy the neighbours with my smart replies , my parents had to find a way to slow me down. I was still only when I was watching Cartoon Network or sleeping. So the rest of the time, I would always find something else to do, which would involve wrestling the guys on the block, beating everyone in chess or climb tress to eat engrafted apricot, which is the most common activity of my generation. If you don't know what engrafted apricots are, book a trip to Romania and walk any street- those trees are immortal in that country.
Here is what my dad taught me...
1. Look beyond the surface. If you meet a person and judge them based on first impressions you are at loss. First impressions are simply book covers; the content a.k.a. core of a person rarely shows up in your first encounter. The fist time you meet a person and they seem nice, take it with a grain of salt because their soul purpose might be to simply impress you with being somebody they are NOT! Our instinct when meeting people is to be complaisant because it brings us a sense of acceptance, however, if you want to know who you are really dealing with here's a great way to bring out the fun: take 10 shots and then continue the conversation. People have so many inhibitions and wannabes, oh and did I mention insecurities, that drives them to act a certain way when they meet you. Have you heard of that line saying :"I let loose when I have a few drinks"? Well, its true. Society makes us behave in a certain way and puts these images in our mind that dictate who we want to be and how the person in front of us should act. But it's all a big fat lie. You want to know the truth about someone? 10 shots of your favourite intoxicating liquid and, after we can talk.
2. Dig deep. Every time I would make small or monstrous booboos my dad would sit me down on a chair and we would talk. The term talk is used loosely here, since it was more me answering the questions and him monologuing about diplomacy, empathy and behavioural changes. But the gist of it is surrounding the idea that what people do or say is rooted much deeper than in what they appear to give you as an excuse for actions. When humans have unresolved emotions and sorrows of the past, it becomes hard to function properly and we tend to carry on, as we say. I remember reading an article about sales and the economic crisis where analytics showed significant correlation between job loss and make-up sales, placing women at bay for being spenders, when really buying make-up and looking 'beautiful' is a coping mechanism. When one doesn't feel good in their own skin, they start looking outside themselves and beautify the ruins of a magnificent being with cheap accessories like excessive make-up, alcohol, drugs or clothes. So when you see that drunk guy acting like a complete ass, or that girl wearing barely any clothes and a ton of make up, do them a favour: slap them really hard, sober them up, sit down with them and dig. They will bring all sort of weaponry to defence themselves, but if you press just long enough, you might heal them of the pain and insecurities they are feeling. Oh, and if they put their hand up while you are talking, it means that they need to take a washroom break; trust me, please, I nearly peed myself when talking to my dad for hours and hours.
3. Don't believe everything people say until they walk the talk. I am a perfect example of this >:). I always said I will never jump out the window again, but I still did (Relax! I used to live on the first floor, so the jump was a few feet tall). I always lied to my grandma saying that I will buy fruits with the money grandpa gave me, when in fact I would spend them on acrylic nails and teen magazines. Regardless of people being family, friends, colleagues, bosses or lovers, don't believe them until you see the fruit of their narratives, a.k.a. THE FACTS. At times, the ones you cared for most will say things that will upset you because they are insecure themselves or don't know, to be read 'are afraid of', what they want and they will try and advice you on matters of life. They may sound smart and wise and look good on paper, but unless they are the outcome of their tails, don't believe them. My dad used to advise me on fake friends and boyfriends, or whatever you consider a guy who takes you out on a date and buys you a CocaCola when you are 10 years old. Being the caring person I was from a tender age, I used to jump in front of the train (figuratively speaking) and help anybody in any way just because I could. Then 90% of the time I was let down and had evaluated my worth based on how people reacted when I needed them, which was nothing close to my expectations. Hear me loud and clear when I say YOUR VALUE DOESN'T DECREASE BASED ON SOMEONE'S INABILITY TO SEE YOUR WORTH. Doesn't matter if they are your parents, friends or boss; if they say that you cannot become somebody, they most likely are saying it because they never did it themselves. So pay attention to those who have walked their talk and not the reverse.
4. 'Be[ing] the last man standing' was also a good one. Another little detail I learned from my dad was to stand your ground. What you stand for is the zest of your existence, and if you cannot defend it in the face of doubt, despair or fear, then it is most likely not what you should stand for. If I said I would write a cheque but never showed my dad the cheque, he would get suspicious and start bugging me, which in return would irritate me and I'd feel like he only wants to check on me when really all he wanted was for me to walk to talk. It is true that at times you get mad at the people you cherish the most mainly because they say or do something dumb. My dad got mad at me for moving out a few years back and stopped speaking to me, and I got mad at him for not believing in me unless I have a university diploma and, you better believe it, I swore at him in Romanian something related to mothers and private parts o_O. There is nothing more magical than the spur of the moment, so long you recollect your thoughts and analyze what really went on. At times, the people who care about you, will push all your buttons and question you, and most often these people will be your family or friends (not to be understood your Facebook peeps). Knowing who you are, what you bring to the table, and how you want others to treat you will help you stand your ground and filter all the unwanted vegetation.
So, all my lovely camarades, raise your glass: "To my dad! Happy Birthday! Your advise, wisdom, mistakes and love have helped me become a better person. And even thought the journey has just begun, I am not afraid of what's waiting down the road because you have taught me how to look beyond people's defences, understand them on a deeper level (even when they don't understand themselves), stop yapping and start doing, and lastly be the beautiful standing woman that I am today. Love ya! "
If you have a male role model who has been your father, your friend and critic, let them know the impact they have made in your life. Share this post, or share your love for them; it's never too early or too late to acknowledge the impact a person has left on you.
*****
Taking all this wisdom in, it is with a heavy heart that I say R.I.P. Paul Walker. Paul and my dad became fathers when they were 25 years old, and I cannot imagine my life had my dad passed away when I was 15. All my love goes to Paul's 15 year old daughter, Meadow Walker.
Please share your dads' craziness with me so I won't feel like such a bad kid doing all the dirty laundry in front of the neighbours ;)
More fun stuff via
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dinaaroundtheworld
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/ZumbaWithDina
XX,
Dina
Hola amigos!
I am officially back in business/Canada/Ontario/Toronto/Joeys- haha! (For those who don't know, Joeys is a Canadian restaurant). Yes, I do like the Eaton location.
I know it is not Wednesday, and I don't have a video for you, but I have something more special to celebrate - MY DAD! It's his birthday today, December 1st, and I already bought him a few souvenirs from my trip to California, but the bigger present is in the making, as you are reading.
.JPG "My dad and mom when I was an embryo...")
My mom and dad when I was an embryo...
If you are a woman, dads can be overprotective, intuitive and sometimes creepy when it comes to prospect (what is considered a good match vs. 'trash' for thy child). This is a given truth, it will never change and the ultimate purpose of it is YOUR happiness, regardless of whether you are a boy or a girl. Figuratively speaking (of course), your dad is this shield ready to take on all sorts of swords, sparrows, bludgeons, and shelter you form the 3 headed dragon spitting fire at you. While this may sound like a caucasian tail, I understand if you disagree with the above description; dads can also scar you for life and leave you wanting to have nothing to do with men - EVER. If that is the case for you, I hope I didn't offend you, and I hope you will close this page after reading the rest of the post because it may give the answers to all your WHY questions.
If you are a guy, you look up to your dad to find the man you wish to be - or not! It shapes your entire being, from the way that you dress, to the way that you talk, to the way that you approach potential partners. Then you decide: do I copycat or do I stray ? If you wish to stray, you should also consider the following: dads are humans and they will make mistakes... towards you, your siblings, your friends, your lover, your mom. If he has mistreated you, get one thing straight: it's not YOU! He just doesn't know any other way to be a dad. Forgive his lack of knowledge, or quirks, and find your peace for you deserve to live in peace and balance.
Naaaaaaaaaw (read as 'now'), leaving aside the fact that my dad can really push my buttons from time to time, here is what I have learned from him (and hope that you can learn as well, regardless of you presently being a parent, or a child). You better be ready, cuz' you are going to laugh your pants off and in the same time learn a lot.
When people meet me, there are 2 opposite reactions that I get, consecutively (they think one and then the other) or separately (one of them): I look very young AND I am very mature for my actual age. The looking young I get: I stay active, don't smoke, drink in moderation and eat great food. The other one (mature), though, is me being sculpted by my dad. Here is how it all went down.
Between the ages of 6 to 16 my dad had a huge impact on the way I thought about my actions, others' behaviour and the world. Given that I was a pretty active kid who liked to dance at parties, organize Barbie doll parties with my friends, jump for hours in skipping rope competitions and annoy the neighbours with my smart replies , my parents had to find a way to slow me down. I was still only when I was watching Cartoon Network or sleeping. So the rest of the time, I would always find something else to do, which would involve wrestling the guys on the block, beating everyone in chess or climb tress to eat engrafted apricot, which is the most common activity of my generation. If you don't know what engrafted apricots are, book a trip to Romania and walk any street- those trees are immortal in that country.
Here is what my dad taught me...
1. Look beyond the surface. If you meet a person and judge them based on first impressions you are at loss. First impressions are simply book covers; the content a.k.a. core of a person rarely shows up in your first encounter. The fist time you meet a person and they seem nice, take it with a grain of salt because their soul purpose might be to simply impress you with being somebody they are NOT! Our instinct when meeting people is to be complaisant because it brings us a sense of acceptance, however, if you want to know who you are really dealing with here's a great way to bring out the fun: take 10 shots and then continue the conversation. People have so many inhibitions and wannabes, oh and did I mention insecurities, that drives them to act a certain way when they meet you. Have you heard of that line saying :"I let loose when I have a few drinks"? Well, its true. Society makes us behave in a certain way and puts these images in our mind that dictate who we want to be and how the person in front of us should act. But it's all a big fat lie. You want to know the truth about someone? 10 shots of your favourite intoxicating liquid and, after we can talk.
2. Dig deep. Every time I would make small or monstrous booboos my dad would sit me down on a chair and we would talk. The term talk is used loosely here, since it was more me answering the questions and him monologuing about diplomacy, empathy and behavioural changes. But the gist of it is surrounding the idea that what people do or say is rooted much deeper than in what they appear to give you as an excuse for actions. When humans have unresolved emotions and sorrows of the past, it becomes hard to function properly and we tend to carry on, as we say. I remember reading an article about sales and the economic crisis where analytics showed significant correlation between job loss and make-up sales, placing women at bay for being spenders, when really buying make-up and looking 'beautiful' is a coping mechanism. When one doesn't feel good in their own skin, they start looking outside themselves and beautify the ruins of a magnificent being with cheap accessories like excessive make-up, alcohol, drugs or clothes. So when you see that drunk guy acting like a complete ass, or that girl wearing barely any clothes and a ton of make up, do them a favour: slap them really hard, sober them up, sit down with them and dig. They will bring all sort of weaponry to defence themselves, but if you press just long enough, you might heal them of the pain and insecurities they are feeling. Oh, and if they put their hand up while you are talking, it means that they need to take a washroom break; trust me, please, I nearly peed myself when talking to my dad for hours and hours.
3. Don't believe everything people say until they walk the talk. I am a perfect example of this >:). I always said I will never jump out the window again, but I still did (Relax! I used to live on the first floor, so the jump was a few feet tall). I always lied to my grandma saying that I will buy fruits with the money grandpa gave me, when in fact I would spend them on acrylic nails and teen magazines. Regardless of people being family, friends, colleagues, bosses or lovers, don't believe them until you see the fruit of their narratives, a.k.a. THE FACTS. At times, the ones you cared for most will say things that will upset you because they are insecure themselves or don't know, to be read 'are afraid of', what they want and they will try and advice you on matters of life. They may sound smart and wise and look good on paper, but unless they are the outcome of their tails, don't believe them. My dad used to advise me on fake friends and boyfriends, or whatever you consider a guy who takes you out on a date and buys you a CocaCola when you are 10 years old. Being the caring person I was from a tender age, I used to jump in front of the train (figuratively speaking) and help anybody in any way just because I could. Then 90% of the time I was let down and had evaluated my worth based on how people reacted when I needed them, which was nothing close to my expectations. Hear me loud and clear when I say YOUR VALUE DOESN'T DECREASE BASED ON SOMEONE'S INABILITY TO SEE YOUR WORTH. Doesn't matter if they are your parents, friends or boss; if they say that you cannot become somebody, they most likely are saying it because they never did it themselves. So pay attention to those who have walked their talk and not the reverse.
4. 'Be[ing] the last man standing' was also a good one. Another little detail I learned from my dad was to stand your ground. What you stand for is the zest of your existence, and if you cannot defend it in the face of doubt, despair or fear, then it is most likely not what you should stand for. If I said I would write a cheque but never showed my dad the cheque, he would get suspicious and start bugging me, which in return would irritate me and I'd feel like he only wants to check on me when really all he wanted was for me to walk to talk. It is true that at times you get mad at the people you cherish the most mainly because they say or do something dumb. My dad got mad at me for moving out a few years back and stopped speaking to me, and I got mad at him for not believing in me unless I have a university diploma and, you better believe it, I swore at him in Romanian something related to mothers and private parts o_O. There is nothing more magical than the spur of the moment, so long you recollect your thoughts and analyze what really went on. At times, the people who care about you, will push all your buttons and question you, and most often these people will be your family or friends (not to be understood your Facebook peeps). Knowing who you are, what you bring to the table, and how you want others to treat you will help you stand your ground and filter all the unwanted vegetation.
So, all my lovely camarades, raise your glass: "To my dad! Happy Birthday! Your advise, wisdom, mistakes and love have helped me become a better person. And even thought the journey has just begun, I am not afraid of what's waiting down the road because you have taught me how to look beyond people's defences, understand them on a deeper level (even when they don't understand themselves), stop yapping and start doing, and lastly be the beautiful standing woman that I am today. Love ya! "
If you have a male role model who has been your father, your friend and critic, let them know the impact they have made in your life. Share this post, or share your love for them; it's never too early or too late to acknowledge the impact a person has left on you.
*****
Taking all this wisdom in, it is with a heavy heart that I say R.I.P. Paul Walker. Paul and my dad became fathers when they were 25 years old, and I cannot imagine my life had my dad passed away when I was 15. All my love goes to Paul's 15 year old daughter, Meadow Walker.
Please share your dads' craziness with me so I won't feel like such a bad kid doing all the dirty laundry in front of the neighbours ;)
More fun stuff via
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dinaaroundtheworld
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/ZumbaWithDina
XX,
Dina
VERY NICE ! I AM PROUD OF YOU !
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU !!!!!!
ReplyDeleteMY LOVELY DAUGHTER !!!!!!!!!!
You should be proud of yourselves- I am your piece of art. ;)
ReplyDeletethan , I have done GOOD JOB too !!!
Delete