Post Valentine's Bliss... ?
I'm single...
It's my curse and liberation!
To all my single, attached, semi-attached and I-dont'k-know-what's-going-on Valentines, I have a few bones to pick with you...
There is this new love hybrid in town -or has it been hunting us for centuries now? - called modern love. As defined by the 'now generation', it is a state of romantic involvement with absolutely no ties between the two people. It kind of looks like this...
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I found this painting to be illustrative of what most of today's society is facing in their love lives.
When I first fixated my gaze on this outstandingly shaking work of art, my jaw dropped. The emotion and message behind this otherwise simple painting speaks louder than anything I have ever seen. I literally starred at it for 20 minutes straight while thoughts were invading my doodled mind.
If you completely hate this painting, allow me to enlighten the lousy or otherwise unexisting analytical thinking that you buried once you started spending 90% of your free time on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, WhatsUp and Angry Birds... You can thank me later.
The screaming message of this painting is 'longing', not just in the way of desiring to be with one another but in the most burning, hunger games ways of yearning desire.
Take a look at the body language of the two, trapped in their own vessels, their own illusions of how to live their lives independently and with each other. The hunched over body on the right hand side says "This love is so powerful, I could chain myself to you and become the slave of our love for the rest of my life'. His posture is so humble, it makes you think of your reaction to meeting a real size troll, the love troll. Imagine this giant being coming closer to you and the more you look up towards their face, the lower you bow towards their feet. Now, isn't this one of the feelings you get when you meet someone you really like? Their ever-growing presence makes you feel so small and powerless, it makes you wish you could be on steroids so you can build the strength to fight them off and scare them from your life for ever and ever... It's a bit stereotypical of the male gender though; most men act more humble when they feel overwhelmed with love and passion and their body posture slightly changes from the peppy hunter to the conquered prey.
The arched body in the left vessel says "I'm spun in the hurricane of love trying to reach for you". Her posture is dynamic, it almost hints at the effect of being swirled in the ties of Malibu heist. Her body is being twisted in millions of spirals by the enormous unsettled waves of desire and yearning, that she can't hold her own anymore. The more she tries to move her body and stop the unsettled water, the more she turns and loses the compass of reason. Her direction blurs up and before she knows it her body can't fight anymore, then she stops. She finds herself in an uncomfortable position, yet her body feels naturally at ease. Now, isn't this one of the feelings you get when you meet someone you really like? Their world starts swirling into yours, and then your entire day goes to waste... You can't focus at work, you keep texting and tagging them in pictures and places you wish they would bring company and before you know it there goes another day. You wish you would be this massive iceberg to splash away all the waves of distortion coming your way and stay tall and strong in the unleashed tsunami of love. It's a bit stereotypical of the female gender though; most women get super excited and jolly when a few qualities of their partner match the qualities they want in a partner for life, it's almost like they are swept off their feet and they lose control of themselves.
You see? I told you I'd do a great job with this! I will thank my literature and grammar teacher from middle school back in Romania for teaching us all how to criticize and analyze art, books... Life! I dearly miss him...
I'm single...
It's my curse and liberation!
To all my single, attached, semi-attached and I-dont'k-know-what's-going-on Valentines, I have a few bones to pick with you...
There is this new love hybrid in town -or has it been hunting us for centuries now? - called modern love. As defined by the 'now generation', it is a state of romantic involvement with absolutely no ties between the two people. It kind of looks like this...
I found this painting to be illustrative of what most of today's society is facing in their love lives.
When I first fixated my gaze on this outstandingly shaking work of art, my jaw dropped. The emotion and message behind this otherwise simple painting speaks louder than anything I have ever seen. I literally starred at it for 20 minutes straight while thoughts were invading my doodled mind.
If you completely hate this painting, allow me to enlighten the lousy or otherwise unexisting analytical thinking that you buried once you started spending 90% of your free time on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, WhatsUp and Angry Birds... You can thank me later.
The screaming message of this painting is 'longing', not just in the way of desiring to be with one another but in the most burning, hunger games ways of yearning desire.
Take a look at the body language of the two, trapped in their own vessels, their own illusions of how to live their lives independently and with each other. The hunched over body on the right hand side says "This love is so powerful, I could chain myself to you and become the slave of our love for the rest of my life'. His posture is so humble, it makes you think of your reaction to meeting a real size troll, the love troll. Imagine this giant being coming closer to you and the more you look up towards their face, the lower you bow towards their feet. Now, isn't this one of the feelings you get when you meet someone you really like? Their ever-growing presence makes you feel so small and powerless, it makes you wish you could be on steroids so you can build the strength to fight them off and scare them from your life for ever and ever... It's a bit stereotypical of the male gender though; most men act more humble when they feel overwhelmed with love and passion and their body posture slightly changes from the peppy hunter to the conquered prey.
The arched body in the left vessel says "I'm spun in the hurricane of love trying to reach for you". Her posture is dynamic, it almost hints at the effect of being swirled in the ties of Malibu heist. Her body is being twisted in millions of spirals by the enormous unsettled waves of desire and yearning, that she can't hold her own anymore. The more she tries to move her body and stop the unsettled water, the more she turns and loses the compass of reason. Her direction blurs up and before she knows it her body can't fight anymore, then she stops. She finds herself in an uncomfortable position, yet her body feels naturally at ease. Now, isn't this one of the feelings you get when you meet someone you really like? Their world starts swirling into yours, and then your entire day goes to waste... You can't focus at work, you keep texting and tagging them in pictures and places you wish they would bring company and before you know it there goes another day. You wish you would be this massive iceberg to splash away all the waves of distortion coming your way and stay tall and strong in the unleashed tsunami of love. It's a bit stereotypical of the female gender though; most women get super excited and jolly when a few qualities of their partner match the qualities they want in a partner for life, it's almost like they are swept off their feet and they lose control of themselves.
You see? I told you I'd do a great job with this! I will thank my literature and grammar teacher from middle school back in Romania for teaching us all how to criticize and analyze art, books... Life! I dearly miss him...
Now, if you still think this painting is just a couple of people in space waving at each other, so be it! Let's move on, shall we?!
Our love life today is much more complicated than our parents' or grandparents'. The olden days golden days were more structured: finish school, find a person, marry them and have children. The women would often fulfill the housewife shoes and men would always be the providers... Until Coco Channel came along and f#%*ed us all with her independent woman mindset and fearless men approaching techniques. If there is anyone to blame, No9 makes the top of the list. It's thanks to her that today as women we want to be independent and build empires. And then men want never ending escorts and champagne bottles...
How did we end here? Not really sure!
Here is how we can start breaking this empty love life of the 21st century.
1. Become more vulnerable. If you are the 1% of the population who has never been hurt before by your lover, it's easy to walk around town pretending like nothing can touch you, but in the same time you become more ignorant of the people around you. When another person smiles at you, shows a genuine interest for conversation and maybe hints about you accompanying them to shop for a friend's birthday gift, it means they like you. So instead of responding with a monotone 'yeah! I will see if I'am free', think about the other person's courage, bravery and interest in you, and actively choose to become more vulnerable in your response. If you like the person back, show it in your answer; there is nothing wrong with getting excited and showing emotion when someone makes you feel a certain way. Being curious and caring will make you a better lover and it will show your empathic charisma. To top it off, consider that the person in front of you may be part of the 99% 'past broken hearted' who have had their heart stitched a few times before... It is that much harder to allow oneself to open up over and over again, but keeping it locked and building your walls tall and strong is recipe for a long and lonely life.
2. Give second chances. Please start moving away from that 'first impression counts mentality'! There are so many uncontrollable factors when meeting a new person that you judging them based on a 2 hour interaction is simply selfish and superficial. Personality and behaviour should not change based on who you talk to, where you are and what happens to you, right?! Well, keyword here is SHOULD. As much as we'd all like to be at our 100% best, there are those very few times when we do get a little on the low side, and accidentally that may be one of the times when we meet someone who spikes our interest. As someone told me a few weeks ago, prior to cancelling our coffee date 3 times, "I am normally not this flaky!" and I understand that because rough times can sometimes get the best of us- we are human after all... So take that into consideration! Emotions are a part of our lives and it can bring out rainbows or blow us off our feet but so long we understand that of ourselves and others, second chances are one of the best ways to keep superficial relationships outside your life FOREVER!
3. Know yourself first before knowing others. What would the answer to the question "What do you value in your partner?" be? Allow me to take a wild guess here: you want someone who loves you for who you are, makes you happy and wants to grow old in love. How generic and in the same time true is this? Very! Park it there for a second. Now ask yourself "What do I have to offer?". Harder to answer, right? Surprisingly, 'rumour' has it your choice and selective process becomes easier once you know exactly what you have to offer and where you need to improve. We mainly spend our time looking at the flaws and perks of the person in front of us, but never at the cracks in the mirror. Word of advice here: whatever flaws we notice in others are most likely the ones we practice ourselves... 90% of the time. A great way of escaping this vicious circle of judging the other person is by opening your head to the idea that we all grow in this life and there is no finish line for personal development. So, if you want an adventurous, charming and witty partner, turn that demand around and see which of these criteria fit you!
And there you have it... Stop with this modern love, no strings attached trend and start living in the moment without fear and prejudice.
Till next time, here is some eye candy for everyone...
.JPG)
Oh, and here are a few great ideas to use post Valentine's Day... You don't need a damn day to celebrate love for thyself, other self, both selves!
Rate, comment, subscribe and SHARE!
oxx,
Dina
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dinaaroundtheworld
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnUDMPD522Q
1. Become more vulnerable. If you are the 1% of the population who has never been hurt before by your lover, it's easy to walk around town pretending like nothing can touch you, but in the same time you become more ignorant of the people around you. When another person smiles at you, shows a genuine interest for conversation and maybe hints about you accompanying them to shop for a friend's birthday gift, it means they like you. So instead of responding with a monotone 'yeah! I will see if I'am free', think about the other person's courage, bravery and interest in you, and actively choose to become more vulnerable in your response. If you like the person back, show it in your answer; there is nothing wrong with getting excited and showing emotion when someone makes you feel a certain way. Being curious and caring will make you a better lover and it will show your empathic charisma. To top it off, consider that the person in front of you may be part of the 99% 'past broken hearted' who have had their heart stitched a few times before... It is that much harder to allow oneself to open up over and over again, but keeping it locked and building your walls tall and strong is recipe for a long and lonely life.
2. Give second chances. Please start moving away from that 'first impression counts mentality'! There are so many uncontrollable factors when meeting a new person that you judging them based on a 2 hour interaction is simply selfish and superficial. Personality and behaviour should not change based on who you talk to, where you are and what happens to you, right?! Well, keyword here is SHOULD. As much as we'd all like to be at our 100% best, there are those very few times when we do get a little on the low side, and accidentally that may be one of the times when we meet someone who spikes our interest. As someone told me a few weeks ago, prior to cancelling our coffee date 3 times, "I am normally not this flaky!" and I understand that because rough times can sometimes get the best of us- we are human after all... So take that into consideration! Emotions are a part of our lives and it can bring out rainbows or blow us off our feet but so long we understand that of ourselves and others, second chances are one of the best ways to keep superficial relationships outside your life FOREVER!
3. Know yourself first before knowing others. What would the answer to the question "What do you value in your partner?" be? Allow me to take a wild guess here: you want someone who loves you for who you are, makes you happy and wants to grow old in love. How generic and in the same time true is this? Very! Park it there for a second. Now ask yourself "What do I have to offer?". Harder to answer, right? Surprisingly, 'rumour' has it your choice and selective process becomes easier once you know exactly what you have to offer and where you need to improve. We mainly spend our time looking at the flaws and perks of the person in front of us, but never at the cracks in the mirror. Word of advice here: whatever flaws we notice in others are most likely the ones we practice ourselves... 90% of the time. A great way of escaping this vicious circle of judging the other person is by opening your head to the idea that we all grow in this life and there is no finish line for personal development. So, if you want an adventurous, charming and witty partner, turn that demand around and see which of these criteria fit you!
And there you have it... Stop with this modern love, no strings attached trend and start living in the moment without fear and prejudice.
Till next time, here is some eye candy for everyone...
Oh, and here are a few great ideas to use post Valentine's Day... You don't need a damn day to celebrate love for thyself, other self, both selves!
Rate, comment, subscribe and SHARE!
oxx,
Dina
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dinaaroundtheworld
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnUDMPD522Q
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