2015 resolutions that make you better, not newer!

Happy Friday World!

Can we please stop!

Stop this madness of New Year, New YOU!

Change takes time, and depending on the type of changes we are looking to achieve i.e. eating a healthier version of a breakfast versus escaping chronic depression, there are but two mechanisms that will work: consistency and patience.

Consistency provides that instant satisfaction of "getting it done", while patience soothes you ID's greediness of wanting it NOW or never.

It would be great if we could all wait in line at the Change Machine, step inside, hear that "Fhssssss!" noise, and walk out as a new version of us: perfect body shape of a model, flawless skin, CEO of a big company, six figures in your savings account, no fears of anxieties... Just like that, here comes the new you!

Well, the truth is that we are amazing, and at times we get lost in the hardship of life, and mistake that period of time with an entire lifestyle. In other words, we get down and stay down, something psychologists call learned helplessness: the hesitation to engage in one act knowing that it will have an unsuccessful outcome.

And the danger with learned helplessness and the NEW YOU resolutions is that consistency and patience are not taken seriously. Here's why... Oh, wait, I wrote an article about this...

So, in the hopes that 2015 will be the year for a better you, here are six resolutions that will move you from Cool YOU to SENSE-a-tional YOU!

1. Overcome one of your fears. 

Fears create comfort zones. Comfort zones create lifestyles. Are you following the trend here? Your lifestyle is being determined by the amount of fears you have. And I don't even have my Ph.D in psych yet... #nerd, but I can observe this much: fear of being rejected leads to hiding, fear of being hurt leads to hiding, fear of change leads to hiding. Our fears, as little as they are, interfere with our ways of living, determine the activities we engage in, and dictate our destiny. Without overcoming fears we are just as good as those roses you buy from the supermarket that never blossom- our beauty stays enclosed within the petals of fear.

2. Learn a new skill.

 Besides the fact that it may be useful in the future, it allows your brain to create new neurological pathways. You could potentially get smarter! (this is a joke, but as you know, to each joke there is a gram of truth) It could be as simple as learning how to do a french braid and surprise your cute lil niece with a free, at home hairstyle service provided by her uncle. Or it could be something more career oriented, like learning a new programming language and becoming the superstar of Java under the jealous eyes of your colleagues. A good friend of mine wowed his entire medicine school when he used his previous carpeting knowledge to dissect a jawbone without damaging the nerve. #groundbreaking 

3. Make peace with the past. 

Whether you are aware of it or not, our past shapes us! Sigmund Freud said it, neurologists measure it, philosophers debate it... Our past determines the choices we make, in the present, moment that can mess around with our future. It is hard work to make peace with our past because we are all emotional beings: hurtful memories from the past bring to surface emotions such as anger, fear, regret which poison our state of mind because they are open wounds sprinkled with salt. Most often than we like to admit, truly making peace with the past requires professional help, vulnerability and patience, so put your money into that, and start letting go of the past tense...

4. Make one new good friend. 

There is this misconception that as we grow old, we know which of our friends are true and bla bla bla! Nope! As we grow old, we change, and so do our friends. Our relationship with ourselves and others around us changes over time due to our personal development and theirs. Sadly, there may be a few friends who are changing faster or slower than you, and you must move away from the ties. Not the easiest thing to do, but most times it is necessary. This year, make it a priority to make one new good friend! Just say Hello! more often and shine that pretty smile of yours onto others- your new best friend could be right in front of you waiting for his cappuccino...

5. Travel to a new place.

We are selfish lil peeps! We are! We think that our hood is the best, our home cooked meal is the best, our coffee shop is the best, our university is the best in this entire world, and it could be... But there are so many other amazing things in this world that are just waiting to greet your pretty face and create some fresh new memories! Act upon your personal interests and find at least one new place that you will travel to this year. Maybe you are a chocoholic, like moi :),  who is eager to learn more about that bitter sweet daily indulgence that brings you so much joy and happiness... How about taking a trip to a cocoa plantation? When shall I book the tickets?

6. Set up a personal record. 

And with personal record a.k.a. PR, I refer to a fitness one. If you live in the "new world" where capitalism dictates your life, then you are accustomed to big cities, desk jobs and long commutes, which, funny enough, take away from your movement time. Now that you think about it, it's not such a bad idea anymore, right? Setting up a PR? It kinda makes sense to have this as part of a better, fitter, version of you. Be it more walking, more weights added to your leg press, running a marathon, or registering for the Tough Mudder, make it a point to fit more FIT TIME into your day to day activities, and work towards crushing your 2015 PR! 

And there you have it!

I believe these fix gems are going to make you better this year, because we don't need a new you... We like the YOU that you are, and if you find the need to become better, well then... That's a reason for the world to celebrate!

Now, it's as easy as picking up a pen and paper, and writing it all down: which fear you want to overcome first, what new skill you would like to acquire, which part of your past needs letting go, what your new bestie looks and acts like, which place you will travel to and what personal record you will work towards.

Just fun stuff!

oxx